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The Bachelor Finale Recap

So if you watched the Bachelor Finale last night, you need to read this. Hilarious!!! Yes, I watch The Bachelor, I have to, my beautiful pregnant wife makes me! 😉

Lost Angeles

Harry Potter and shit.  It all ends.

ImageNever before has so much build up lead to an event more (read: less) captivating.  On a shoestring budget because Strawberry Blond found a way to be a virgin and uninteresting at the same time, this “journey” to find love felt more like a tourist bus carting visiting Germans around destinations no one from the United States would visit.  After a brief and luxurious pit stop in St. Croix, they were off to Thailand, the most inexpensive beach country they could find.  It made me wonder if Sean had a peanut allergy and they were trying to kill him with some errant pad thai.

His final decision was like a scene from Saw.  Marry the simple, Army Brat with the General dad and a horrid case of stress acne or marry a woman from Seattle with a shitty set of sisters and a…

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The Bachelor Recap

I love how he described the kiss on the boat!!

Lost Angeles

Before I take you all to the fantasy suites (fahn tab see sweets) with me, I need to talk directly to Chris Harrison and all the cast and crew members who read my BachCaps.  Never have I seen such east coast bias as the tweet captions they bring up on screen.  Look, I love seeing Lost Angeles friend Possessionista (who is amazing) quoted four times an episode, it’s nice to see Chris Bukowski is still alive with his super skinny head, but for us on the west coast, we’re cut out because I can’t very well tweet about a show that is not on yet, can I?

I think next week at like 5pm Pacific, I just start tweeting made up Women Tell All stories like “Wow, I can’t believe Anna Nicole Schlitz learned her Chris Harrison impression when Chris took her to a secret night club that was actually…

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